Self-Esteem

If we take into consideration the many obstacles, pressures, and demands of this particular stage in life we are living, we can begin to understand why so many of us feel we don’t measure up.

Today we are expected to:

 Be academically above average. 
 Participate in some extracurricular activities and excel at them.
 Maintain a significant social status. 
 Develop a presentable and "attractive" appearance. 
 Decide what college we want to attend and for what career. 
 Establish a loving relationship with someone compatible. 
 Conduct ourselves in an appropriate and dignified manner.

Take a look at the growing suicide rate in our age group, violence in schools, depression, and excessive and/or fatal drug abuse, bullying and peer pressure. Beyond this, some of us lack a supportive home life. Whether it is a neglectful situation or a case of abuse, the impact of such behavior can affect our ability to function in any capacity.

The Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1-877-KIDS-400, is available 24 hours a day to provide you with an outlet and an opportunity to seek help regarding the mistakes, failed goals, putdowns, letdowns and rejections that we all face and learn to deal with. Your needs and struggles are recognized, and we understand what you’re going through.

What Is Self-Esteem?

"Self-esteem is much more than the innate sense of self-worth that presumably is our human birthright." (Nathaniel Brandon, "Answering Misconceptions about Self-Esteem," National Association for Self-Esteem web site, http://self-esteem-nase.org/journal01.shtml.) Instead self-esteem needs to be fully realized by being appropriate to life and life’s requirements. It includes having the confidence to think, to cope with challenges life throws at us, to be successful and happy, to feel worthy and deserving, and to assert our needs and wants.

Self-Esteem is not:

Teen Images: How You Feel About Your Appearance

The way we feel about our appearance plays a large role in our self-esteem. Unhappy with what you see in the mirror? You are NOT alone! A lot of people don’t like the way they look. They want a "perfect" body like they see on TV or in videos, magazines, and ads. Guess what? Nobody’s perfect! Take away the makeup, special effects, and the glamour, and nearly everyone has flaws that cannot easily be changed. It would be healthier to accept the fact that bodies come in all varieties of shapes, sizes and weights!

So what do you do? Look in the mirror again. Then start working on something you can change- your "Image Attitude!" Think about what you don’t like about your looks (hair, braces, height, acne, weight). There is nothing you can do about some body blemishes. Others will improve with time. A few you can control. Now look at what you like about yourself (sharp mind, fast runner, being a nice person)! It’s best to focus on who you are by stressing what you like and beginning to accept what you don’t like. That’s image attitude!

You’ll feel healthier and look better if you like yourself! Your image attitude will improve if you:

   Don’t get hung up on what you look like!

   Stop judging yourself (and others) by appearance!

   Don’t be fooled by the media’s image of what’s perfect! (these are unrealistic expectations… not to mention the fact that most people are not all that impressed with exceptionally skinny or muscular people).

Ten ways to love the body you’ve got!

1. We are born in love with our bodies. How do we develop the feeling that our bodies are not acceptable just as they are? Ask your friends what they think and start to challenge these fears together.
2. Think of your body as a tool. Create an inventory of all the things you can do with this body.
3. Create a list of people you admire that have contributed to your life, your community, and the world using their minds, hearts, or other inner resources. Was their appearance important to their success and accomplishments? If their body and appearance were not important, why should yours be? Judge yourself as a whole person, not just a body.
4. Do something that will let you enjoy your body: stretch, dance, walk, sing, take a bubble bath, get a massage, have a pedicure, play basketball. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from doing things you enjoy.
5. How much time do you spend each day criticizing your body or worrying about your appearance? Decide what you would rather do with those wasted hours. Do it.
6. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
7. Make your own decision about what is beautiful. Don’t allow the media or anyone else to make it for you.
8. Find a hobby that keeps you active and do it regularly. You’ll be having too much fun to worry about burning calories or losing weight- this is not what exercise is about anyway.
9. Describe 10 positive things about yourself, without mentioning your appearance.
10. If you had only one year to live, how important would your body image and appearance be? The reality is that life is too short to waste time hating your body. You’ve got what you’ve got, so embrace it!

Image tips worth remembering!

 There’s no such thing as a "perfect" body!
 You’re still you no matter what you look like! 
 Focus on what you like about yourself! 
 Accept yourself for who you are!

You’ll feel great and you’ll look great! Now that’s good image attitude! Want some more advice on how to feel better about your body image? Call and speak to a peer helper at the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1-877-KIDS-400 today!

Self-Esteem: Resources & Links