Parent Info
Supporting Parents
Raising a child is one of the toughest jobs anyone could possibly have today—but also one of the most gratifying. Parents are confronted with complex issues that may be difficult for young people to understand and for parents to explain. Kids are also confronted with complex issues that may be hard for you to understand. We’re here to help both of you deal with the problems in your lives. The Kids’ Helpline is for you as well! Call us today at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400, to talk to someone who cares! As this website grows, check back frequently. We will expand this section to include information on resources for parents, parenting skills, talking to your kids and dealing with issues such as suicide, violence, eating disorders, mental health problems, and substance use. For now, we’ve listed some common questions and answers that parents have for us, as well as some things you can do to open up the lines of communication with your child.
Children In Crisis
I suspect that my child may be experiencing personal problems. Are there warning signs that they may be experiencing a problem?
Kids and teens don’t always feel comfortable verbalizing the problems that they are experiencing to us in their lives. They may be afraid to tell us because they think they will disappoint us, or maybe they just don’t have the right words to do so. But there are other ways that we can know our child might be experiencing a problem. Some warning signs that could indicate a problem or crisis in your child’s life can include:
- Changes in behavior
- Feeling more anxious or worried than usual, or more than other kids in their age group
- Anger or conduct problems
- Does worse in school
- Loses interest in things that are meaningful to the
- Isolates themselves from friends or family, or has a sudden, new group of friends
- Unexplained changes in eating or sleeping
- Inability to concentrate, daydreams a lot, seems spacey
- Talks about suicide or glorifies death and/or violence
- Hurts other people, destroys property, harms self
These are just some of the warning signs that your child could be experiencing a crisis in their life. If you are concerned about signs your child is exhibiting, call the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400 and ask to speak to a counselor. We’re here 24 hours a day, just like you!
How do I talk to my child about my concern for them?
Talking to your kids about difficult issues can be nerve-racking for parents. But you will probably both feel better for talking it out. It’s important to remember that the first time you ask them about what is going on, or confront them about their behavior, to recognize that they may deny it or tell you everything is fine. Keep asking, and let them know that when they are ready, you will be too! Other helpful hints for communicating include:
Use of open communication.
It is important that you talk with your kids openly and honestly. Use encouragement, support and positive reinforcement so your kids know that they can ask any question-on any topic-freely and without fear of consequence. Provide straightforward answers; otherwise, your child may make up his or her own explanations that can he more frightening than any honest response you could offer. If you don't know the answer, admit it-then find the correct information and explore it together. Use everyday opportunities to talk as occasions for discussion. Some of the best talks you'll have with your child will take place when you least expect them.
Explain why you’re concerned, be honest and straightforward.
If you have serious concerns about your child’s behavior or emotional state, be honest with them and use examples to help them understand why you’re concerned. For instance, if you think your teen daughter may have an eating disorder, let her know that you’ve noticed her lack of appetite, the way she refuses to eat certain foods, or always counts calories and fat grams. Let her know that you think these are signs of a serious problem and that you’re concerned. Don’t communicate disappointment, anger, or instability. This could shut kids down from wanting to talk about what they are experiencing. Let her know that you want to seek help for her and that it is okay to talk about whatever is going on.
Encourage them to talk it out.
Children feel better when they talk about their feelings. It lifts the burden of having to face their fears alone and offers an emotional release. For example, if you sense that a violent event (whether real or fictional) has upset your youngster, you might say something like, "That TV program we saw seemed pretty scary to me. What did you think about it?" and see where the conversation leads. If your child appears constantly depressed, angry or feels persecuted, it is especially important to reassure them that you love them and encourage them to talk about their concerns. And if s/he has been violent or a victim of violence, it is critical to give him or her a safe place to express his feelings. Kids will talk at their own pace, you need to be able to feel comfortable talking to them as they are ready. Sometimes we want to know all the details right away, we don’t want to see our children in pain. But if we pressure them before they are ready to talk, they might not speak to us at all about it.
Listen.
As great as talking to your kids is, you shouldn’t be the one doing all of the talking. Listening, really listening to them, is even more important. Don’t interrupt; don’t argue with them right now, just listen. Let them explain the problem from their perspective, ask them how they want to solve it together, give them a chance to find solutions for themselves, or together with you. It’s important that your child feel that you have heard him or her, that you understand, and are willing to deal with the problem.
Hold family meetings.
Regularly scheduled family meetings can provide children-and us- with an acceptable place to talk about complaints and share opinions. Just be sure that everyone gets a chance to speak. Use these meetings to demonstrate effective problem-solving and negotiation skills. Keep the meetings lively, but well controlled, so children learn that conflicts can be settled creatively and without violence or fear.
How do I know if we need professional help?
Parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever have and love! Sometimes we all need support, good parents seek support when they know they need it. When you’re done listening to your child or teen, we’re here to listen to you. Maybe you just want reassurance that what your child is experiencing is "normal" for their age group or developmental level. Maybe you just need someone to brainstorm ideas with about what solutions are available to you. Maybe you just need to realize your anxiety and concern for them to someone who can understand. Whatever your needs, we are here for you too. We have resources and referrals, counselors who can help you and your child through the immediate crisis and trained professionals who can respond to many situations. If you feel overwhelmed by your child’s behavior or emotional state, if you are concerned that they are depressed, suicidal or experiencing mental health problems, you should seek professional help immediately. Useful interventions from professionals can come in many forms. We can help you decide what’s best for you and your family. Call the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400 and speak to a counselor today! The following is a comprehensive list of interventions that could be useful to you and your family.
- Self-help.
- Education and training for you and your child.
- Individual counseling and therapy.
- Group counseling and therapy.
- Family counseling and therapy.
- Increased parental involvement and supervision.
- Change schools.
- Outdoor adventure programs.
- Wilderness therapy programs.
- Move to a new area.
- Parenting by other family members.
- Foster care. Private school.
- Day treatment program.
- Boarding school.
- Therapeutic boarding school.
- Residential treatment program.
- Psychiatric hospitalization.
- Police or law enforcement response.
Source: www.helpforparents.net
Remember: Check this site for updates and information that will be helpful to you and your family!