If your parents or caregivers are divorcing or separating, you may be experiencing a lot of mixed feelings. Many kids feel like the problems between their parents are their fault. It’s important to remember that if your parents are splitting up, you are not the cause of it, and that they probably both feel badly about it, and really do love you. Sometimes one or both of them may also have new relationships, which is also a hard adjustment for you. If you’re angry, hurt, or upset, call the                  Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1-877-KIDS-400 and speak to a peer helper or counselor.

When Parents Don’t Get Along…

Sometimes one of the hardest times in your life is when your parents don’t get along. They may even decide to get a separation or divorce. If this happens, there are things that might change in your life:

 You may struggle getting things "back to normal". You may be separated from siblings.
 You may have to get used to two sets of rules (one for each parents’ house) when one set was already hard enough.
 You may have to get used to a new person that your parent is dating or planning to marry. 
 This person may have children of their own that you are not used to sharing a house or room with.
 Sometimes a divorce or separation means you will have to move away from your house, your friends, your school and your other parent. 
 Your parents may behave differently toward one another while they get used to being separated or divorced.
 Your parents may seem like they "don’t have enough time" for you.
 There may be legal issues regarding the separation or divorce.

Things That You May Feel:

 You may feel stuck "in the middle" and feel like you have to choose a favorite parent.
 You may be angry with parents, siblings, teachers and friends. 
 You may feel as though no one understands what you are going through.
 Sometimes you may be relieved that your parents are divorced or separated but feel guilty about it.
 You may feel "left out" because of the turmoil of the separation or divorce.
 You may have a change in eating habits.
 You may experience a change in your grades at school.

Call the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1-877-KIDS-400 and talk to someone who will listen to your feelings and what YOU are going through.

Divorce: Local Resources

Children and Grandchildren of Divorce Support Group
(716) 883-1914

Call for information about where these groups are held and how to get involved. It can be really helpful to talk with others whose families are changing like yours.

Divorce: Additional Resources & Links

http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/divorce.html

This helpful article explains what divorce is, why it’s not your fault, and what life is like for many families after a divorce.

http://www.divorce-kids.com

This website has info on dealing with the separation of your parents, stresses of stepfamily life, and dealing with your mom and dad during their divorce. They also have a monitored chat for kids who are dealing with divorce.