Stress & Anxiety

What Causes Stress?

Stress is caused by a lot of things, such as:

changes in your body (menstruation, puberty, voice changes).
too many expectations (school, sports, after school activities, family problems).
communication breakdowns (fighting, arguing, disagreements with people who are important to you).
family breakups (divorce, separation, constant fighting).
keeping up with your friends (fitting in, peer pressure, maintaining friendships with all your other commitments).

Common reactions to stress:

It’s common to react to stressful situations in a negative way, especially if you don’t know what else to do. Here are some examples of what can happen when you’re stressed out:

lose interest in school (grades suffer, cutting classes, detention, expulsion).
alcohol/drug abuse (using drugs regularly, using during school, making new friends who accept your habit and who are a bad influence).
arguing with family and friends (put a wedge between yourself and the ones you love and depend on… become isolated).
become the ultimate perfectionist (put unreasonable pressures on yourself to succeed then if you cannot meet those expectations you feel like a failure).
hiding from reality (not facing the consequences of your behavior, not attempting to find alternative behaviors to use).
uncontrolled emotions (saying things you really don’t mean, acting out physically and hurting others).

How to handle stress in a positive way:

Try to figure out how much stress you can take. When your brain feels like it’s on overload, take a break. Relax. Use positive methods to get a grip on stress. Here are a few suggestions:

Talk about it! Don’t be afraid to ask for help! There are plenty of people who will listen, like your family, friends, teachers, school counselor, etc.
Get some exercise! Regular physical activity is a sure-fire method to help reduce that stress in your head!
Don’t overwhelm yourself! Take things one step at a time and try not to overload on work, try getting things done ahead of time.

Making Stress Work For You

Stress can come from all directions. We live in a stress-filled world. Rather than only looking for ways to change the stress-filled situations, look for stress that can work for you. These strategies are concrete suggestions to make stress work in your favor.

Organize. Disorganization creates stress. Taking the "dis" out of disorganization can produce a sense of control in knowing what will happen, that in turn reduces stress.
Create environments that reduce stress. Colors of the walls, floor coverings, and furniture in your room can reduce stress. Hues such as cooling greens and blues are positive colors that can invite calm and create a sense of well-being.
Use stress as a teacher. As a crisis occurs, stop and think of how to use it to make things better. Make lemonade out of the lemons in life.
Leave time for the unexpected. Look for the natural coping ability to deal with the unexpected. Coping requires time. Time is needed to perceive a crisis and to rally our internal and external resources.
Choose friends carefully. Your choice of friends can be the key to stress reduction. Friends should be people who help us to increase our strengths and create innovative solutions to stressful situations. They support us and reaffirm that we are not alone.
Stop and look at yourself. Take time to recognize signs of stress like anger, over extension in outside activities, work and sleep habits. As you become aware of these signs, you are beginning to identify how to make stress work. You are being proactive not reactive to situations.
Accept what cannot be changed. We can accept what we cannot change by changing what we can. Make choices that are realistic, not out of reach.
Don’t say yes to everything. Recognize what your strengths are and focus on taking the time to do a project built on them. Taking on too many projects results in loss of control and creates stress.
Make decisions. Indecision increases stress. Good leaders make decisions and act on them. If a bad decision is made, reevaluate it and move on.
Maintain a sense of humor. Laughing at oneself can release potential stress from the inside. And laughing creates fewer wrinkles than worrying!

Still stressed??? Call the Kids’ Helpline and talk to someone about it! We’re here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400!

Stress, Anxiety & Counseling: Local Resources and Additional Resources & Links