Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is a big problem in schools, at work, and even on the streets. It can happen to anyone. It can make you feel pretty bad about yourself when it happens to you. If you’re being sexually harassed, or are concerned about your own behavior, call the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400.

What Is Sexual Harassment?

Sexual harassment is a pattern of unwelcomed or unwanted sexual attention or behavior. It could be verbal, non-verbal, or physical. Sexual harassment is all based on perception, which means that you and I don’t have to agree that what might be happening to you is sexual harassment. If you feel it is, and it is happening at school or work, your school or employer is required by law to investigate the complaint.

Also, sexual harassment can happen to anyone. Boys can sexually harass other boys. Girls can harass other girls or boys. Whatever the case, sexual harassment is never your fault.

There are two types of sexual harassment, quid pro quo (guess what language that is?) and hostile environment harassment.

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo is Latin (did you guess right?) for "this for that". In this type of sexual harassment, the abuser makes some type of sexual compliance or behavior a condition for employment or education. For example, your boss at your local after school job will only give you a raise if you agree to sleep with him or her.

Hostile Environment

Hostile environment harassment is when some type of sexual behavior has the intent or effect of creating an offensive, hostile or intimidating environment for you at school or at work. These behaviors can include:

Touching, pinching, and grabbing body parts.
Sexual notes or pictures. Sexual graffiti.
Being cornered, forced to kiss someone, or coerced to do something sexual.
Pulling off or at your clothes or someone else’s.
Spreading sexual rumors or making sexual propositions
Making suggestive comments, sexual looks, gestures, or jokes.

How Do I Know If It’s Sexual Harassment Or Just Flirting?

Sexual harassment and flirting can often get confused by some people. However, there are pretty easy ways to tell if something is sexual harassment. For one, you can ask yourself if you find the behavior offensive. Also, feelings between the two are different. Read on.

Sexual Harassment:

Hurts.
Causes anger, shame, guilt, frustration.
Dis-empowers. Lowers self-esteem.
Is invasive of personal boundaries.
Is enjoyed by the harasser, not the victim.

Flirting or Fun Teasing:

Feels good, flattering, empowering
Makes me feel happy, attractive, accepted
Enhances self-esteem Respects personal boundaries
Is enjoyed by both persons involved

I Think I’m Being Sexually Harassed, What Do I Do Now?

Take action. If you feel safe, make it clear to the harasser that you do not like the attention.

Keep a record of the harassment. Include: where it happened, exactly what happened, the time and date, the names of any witnesses.

If the harassment persists, write a letter to the harasser telling him or her that you want the behavior to stop. Keep a copy of the letter. Have an adult witness the delivery of the letter. Again, only do this if you feel safe enough to confront the harasser.

Tell your parents or another trusted adult what is happening.

If the behavior still persists, report the sexual harassment to the designated person in your school. Not sure who that is, ask your principal or teacher.

Helping Your Friends

It takes courage to talk about sexual harassment. So if a friend confides in you, listen and show understanding and support. Encourage your friend to tell the harasser to stop. Offer to go along for moral support. And if you learn that a friend is being sexually harassed, encourage your friend to report it. Remember that it is illegal for a harasser to try to stop someone from reporting harassment.

Relationships: Sexual Violence Local Resources and Additional Resources & Links