Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Youth

It is estimated that approximately 1 in 10 Americans are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered (GLBT). GLBT youth face many challenges, but there is also great community support for GLBT youth in the WNY area. Are you questioning your sexuality? Do you have a friend or family member who just came out as GLBT? We hope this page helps you to better understand the issues facing GLBT youth. Need to talk to someone about your sexuality, homophobia, or the pressures you are facing? Call the Kids’ Helpline! Speak with a counselor who cares at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400.

Definitions

What do all these terms mean? Read on for more information!

Bisexual – bisexual males and females have sexual and romantic attractions to both males and females.

Gay – males who primarily have romantic or sexual attractions/relationships with other males. The term “gay” is also used to encompass a broader spectrum of same sex relationships.

Heterosexism – oppression based on one’s sexual orientation, parallel to racism or sexism. Like institutional racism and sexism, heterosexism pervades societal customs and institutions. Examples of heterosexism in the United States include the continuing ban against gay and lesbian military personnel; widespread lack of legal

Heterosexual – a heterosexual male or female’s primary romantic and sexual relationships are with those of the opposite sex.

Homophobia – fear, dislike or prejudice against homosexuals.

Homosexual – a homosexual male or female’s primary romantic and sexual relationships are with those of the same sex.

Lesbian – females who primarily have romantic or sexual attractions/relationships with other females.

Queer – some GLBT people, particularly young people, use the term “queer” to encompass the entire GLBT community. However, some people use the term in a degrading way to describe the GLBT community. It is a controversial word for many, and we suggest using it only if you feel comfortable in self-identifying as queer, rather than labeling someone else as queer.

Transgender – people who identify more strongly with the other gender than the one to which they were biologically assigned (e.g. women who feel like men, or men who feel like women). Some transgendered people may “cross-dress”, take hormones and/or have sex reassignment surgery in order to change their bodies to reflect how they feel inside. Transgendered people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

Challenges for GLBT Youth

Here are some statistics from the Gay and Lesbian Sexuality Education Network (GLSEN) and Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) about the challenges that GLBT youth face in our society due to ongoing heterosexism.

97% of public high school students report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from their peers and 53% of students report hearing homophobic comments made by school staff.
42% of homeless youth self-identify as gay and lesbian.
11.5% of gay and lesbian youth report being physically attacked by family members.
45% of gay males report having experienced verbal harassment and/or physical violence as a result of their sexual orientation during high school. 34% of adolescent gay males who have suffered physical attack also report attempted suicide.
42% of lesbians report having experienced verbal harassment and/or physical violence as a result of their sexual orientation during high school. 42% of adolescent lesbians who have suffered physical attack also report attempted suicide.
50% of all gay and lesbian youth report that their parents reject them due to their sexual orientation.
26% of gay and lesbian youth are forced to leave home because of conflicts over their sexual orientation.
GLBT people are the most frequent victims of hate crimes.
Approximately 28% of gay and lesbian youth drop out of high school because of discomfort (due to verbal and physical abuse) in the school environment.

Speaking Out

Despite all of these terrible statistics, many young people believe homophobia is wrong and that there are ways to challenge it in our society. Some of the things you can do to speak out against homophobia and heterosexism include:

Educate YOURSELF and those around you about homophobia and how it is hurtful to all people in our society.
If you are over 18, vote! Never underestimate the power of your vote! Issues such as support for same-sex marriage, gay and lesbian adoptions, and anti-discrimination campaigns are on many political platforms.
Don’t just ignore homophobic comments! Speak up when you hear comments that are homophobic. Politely let the other person know that you were offended by his or her comment and explain why. Ask them to not use that comment, word, or phrase around you again.
Join the Gay/Straight Alliance at your school. If you school doesn’t have one, why not start one!
Participate or organize a National Coming Out Day Event at your school or in your community. National Coming Out Day is October 11th of every year and was founded to honor the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian & Gay Rights.
If you are heterosexual, and care about someone who is gay or lesbian, be an ally! Stand up for them, be supportive, and mostly just be their friend!

There are many more ways you can get involved in the fight to end discrimination against the GLBT community. Check out the links to our resources at the bottom of this page for more great ideas!

Coming Out

What does “coming out” mean?

Coming out means identifying and accepting yourself as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

Why come out?

To accept yourself and your sexuality.
To meet other GLBT youth.
To establish a sense of community and belonging.
To educate others.

Before you can come out to anyone else, you have to first accept your own sexual orientation. For many youth, this can be a very difficult process. You may have been raised to believe that people in the GLBT community are immoral or that being gay is wrong. Remember, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being who you are! Many people experience a huge relief once they come out, because now they can be honest about who they are. Once you fully accept who you are, most GLBT youth come out to their family and friends. This may be an even more difficult process. We’ve listed some tips for coming out to friends and family members below. If you are struggling with coming out, or need support after coming out, please call us today at 716-834-1144 or toll-free at 1(877)KIDS-400. We are here for you!

Tips for Coming Out to Friends and Family

Get a sense of their reactions to homosexuality first. For example, you might watch a movie with your brother featuring a gay character, see how he reacts for signs about how he could react when you come out.
Once you feel the waters, find a safe person to come out to first. Coming out is a very difficult process. Try to find someone who you believe is open and accepting of gays and lesbians, and tell them first. If your first coming out experience goes well, you might feel safer telling others such as your parents.
Be aware of what is going on in the life of the person you are coming out to. Try to pick a time when you feel that they will be attentive and able to listen to you without any interruptions. For example, telling your parents while they are driving on the thruway isn’t the most ideal time!
Remember how long it took you to come to terms with your own sexuality. Give them time to adjust to the news.
Be prepared for a wide range of reactions.
Provide them information and educational resources, such as pamphlets, books or websites that you can check out together. Giving your parents information on PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) support groups could be a good idea.
Be clear about your own feelings about being gay. If you are comfortable, share this with them.
If someone rejects you at first, do not lose sight of your own self-worth. Give the person some time and space, but remember your integrity and self-respect is what is most important
Emphasize that you are still the same person and nothing that you or they did made you this way.

Still unsure? Call us at 716-834-1144 or toll-free at 1(877)KIDS-400 and we can assist you with how best to deal with the coming out process.

Unique Issues

Many GLBT youth struggle with issues surrounding relationships. Many of the relationships sections above are useful, but there tends to be unique issues regarding relationships for GLBT youth. Some of them may be:

Family members and friends who do not understand or accept your relationship.
Some of your friends know about your sexual orientation, some do not.
Choosing to go public with your relationship is difficult.
Choosing NOT to go public with your relationship is difficult. When your intimate relationship ends, some people view it only as losing a “friend”.
It is often difficult to find someone who understands your concerns.

There are very real problems that can occur if the people you choose to talk to do not understand or break your trust. Our Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400, has caring individuals who respect your feelings and are concerned for your well-being.

Relationships: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Local Resources & Additional Resources