Bullying & Violence
This page explains bullying, and gives you some ideas about what to do if you’re being bullied. We’ve also covered school violence, including what you should do if someone brings a gun or other weapon to your school. We all have a responsibility to keep ourselves, and our school safe. So next time you start teasing someone, ask yourself why you’re doing it and what would if feel like if you were in the other person’s shoes. If you’re being bullied at school or are concerned that your behavior is becoming violent, and you want to talk to someone about it, call the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400.
Bullying
Did you know...
- Seven acts of bullying occur every hour.
- Most acts of bullying last a little over 30 seconds.
What is bullying?
- Physical bullying - hitting, kicking, stealing or damaging property.
- Verbal bullying - humiliating with words by name calling, teasing, or insulting.
- Repeated teasing and cruelty of any kind.
- "Rough- housing" when the other child or teen does not agree to it.
Who bullies?
- A person who seeks power over others.
- Someone who needs to feel in control of other people.
- A person who does not accept responsibility for his or her actions.
Who gets bullied?
- Anyone can become a victim of bullying.
- Anyone who witnesses repeated bullying is affected.
- Most people do not report a bully so the bullying continues.
What can I do?
- Realize it is not your fault.
- Inform an adult whom you trust. Adults have the power to make a significant change in kids' lives.
What do I do if a kid at school is picking on me?
Bullies usually feel badly about themselves and that's why they pick on people. We know that you probably want to stand up to him or her, but try hard not to get mad or let them provoke you. If you feel like you can handle it, try to stand tall and say, "I'm not going to fight with you." But remember, you don't have to handle it on your own. Your parents may be able to talk with your teacher or counselor about this if you ask them.
What do I do if I see someone bring a gun or another weapon to school?
If you ever see a gun or weapon anywhere, never touch it. It is important that you tell an adult, like your teacher or counselor right away. That way, you'll stay safe and help make sure no one else gets hurt.
What do I do if I hear someone talking about or planning violence in school?
Again, talk to an adult you trust. You need to get advice on where and who to report to. You can always call the Kids’ Helpline at 716-834-1144 or toll free at 1(877)KIDS-400, and talk to a counselor who will guide you in what steps to take to protect yourself and your classmates from a potentially deadly situation. This is the time to TELL SOMEONE!
Conflict Resolution
Things we have no control over: other people, the situation, or its outcome.
We can control: ourselves and the way we choose to deal with our anger.
Three Responses To Conflict
Avoidance
Avoidance is when you intentionally withdraw from the situation, ignore the problem or deny your own emotions. This response generally escalates the situation within the mind of the individual avoiding his or her own emotions. Usually, this avoidance turns into aggression at a later time in a more pronounced fashion making this choice more harmful.
Aggression
Aggression is when you exhibit hostility, inflict physical harm, propose threats, or use bribery. Utilizing this method often leads to further confrontation and never truly resolving the problem, in effect making it worse. When aggression of a physical nature is used to deal with conflict on school grounds, other negative consequences must be faced (suspension, detention, documentation on personal records).
Communication
This method of dealing with conflict requires active empathic listening, accepting another individual’s point of view, and taking charge of your own actions and feelings. This is the most sought after response for resolving conflict as it allows the two disputants to visualize the other’s perspective, come to a mutual understanding and reach a reasonable agreement.
Peer Mediation
Numerous schools utilize "peer mediation" which involves two or more individuals who are experiencing conflict to come together to reach a solution or resolve the conflict through rational and calm discussion. Through peer mediation numerous benefits can be derived including constructively resolving conflict with communication, alleviating future tensions between two disputants and learning how to eliminate conflict on a rational basis. This technique does not incorporate judging or solving the problem for the disputants, it simply offers the two parties options and methods to deal with conflict and provides them with an opportunity to resolve it.
Conflict is a natural part of everyday life and can be a positive force for personal growth if handled in a cooperative manner with proper communication and respect for others.
Bullying & Violence: Additional Resources & Links
((See relationships section for information on violence in relationships.))